Positive thinking everyday...

I thing pembaca my blog yg setia mesti ingat kesedihan ku masa berada di Sheffield kan..dgn email yg sungguh menyakitkan hati...isu yg timbul sebab tak puas hati dgn my work there..to baru prolog tu..sapa-sapa yg tak igt sila la layari address nie..

http://ainmuttaqin.blogspot.com/2008/12/positive-thinking.html

actually last weekend, adalah orang tu antor sms..kata "please present the whole results, we need his opinion on your work, cukup ke tak your data". my answer was" tp kan dia buat microbial metabolomics. mcmana nak help me with my work. and takut ada clash of interest dgn sheffield lak..lagipun nak publish result tu..maybe discussion ok kot?" and jawapan yg saya terima ialah " kita nak idea dia, tapi kalu tak nak sukatilah". later, satu lg sms masuk from the big boss.. " i think you should present then later we discuss.but up to you nak present byk mana". then i jawab..ok boss..

sunday nite, this person sms lg.."kena present jugak semua.then kita discuss"..so i pun buat senyap ler..ikut suka diorang la kan..

yesterday, early morning, this person came to my room. nak tgk my slides..OK! so i masukkan all the result yg i think ok ler kan to show to the expert...actually tak nak masuk kan list of metabolites tu sebab tau sgt la dis person ada hidden agenda dgn my work...apsal tiba-tiba baik sgt nak tolong me...selama nie siap ngumpat jek..

Opps!melalut...ok, then this person said..nak list of metabolites tu jugak..so terpaksa la ikut kan..dia kan senior la katakan...dia kata nanti boleh la the expert tu komen kan..this guy memang expert dlm metabolomics work..ada 7 books, more than 100 publications tau...kena dgr la pendapat dia...nanti kita tau la ok ke tak..OK!

masa meeting ada bos, sorg student yg slalu berkongsi info about metabolomic work.and ada juga la kuncu this person...siap demand nak duduk sebelah menyebelah..tau sgt nk ngumpat aku ler tu...yg expert dr NZ tu and his student..

so time presentation- "actually these slides i've presented at sheffield..bla..bla..tunjuk result and explained..so these are the interesting part of my work..bla..bla..using these website to search metabolites compounds...bla..bla..PCA able to separate the compounds well...bla..bla..
then, now come to my problems...i've stucked here...i could not get compounds from these techniques....bla..bla..i've tried different method...bla..bla..

The expert asked me questions..and he really satisfied with the answer..and asked me this question (which is i like most) : how long you takes to get all these data?
my answer was very short: 6 months..
he looks at me, 6 months or 6 years? me: six months...
his respond: OMG, i'm really impress with you..amazing...it's really a lot of data you've generated within 6 months times...it's really a PhD work...and you should have 1 master student to do data analysis..only to analyze data that you produce... Hello! saya takde student buat tu..semua buat sendiri..
and he said some more that the list of metabolites really interesting..a lot of organic acids, amino acids which are primary metabolites that respond to the secondary metabolites effect..must study this upregulated first..from the list could have at least 3 different publications..and can also apply for a very good amount of research grant...

he also suggested that i should come to his lab in Auckland to finish up that part.. my answer was, ask the boss...lepas tu mula la yg dua org tu buat muka la kan..yg geram nye masa my presentation and Q n A with the expert, dua org ni kan siap sms, tulis kt kertas lg smbil buat muka..cm la aku tak tau depa ngumpat sbb aku pn selalu gak wt cmtu msa kta tempat lama dlu..hihi..student tu pn bagitau yg depa dua tu dok ngumpat aku sbb dia nmpak..

Moral of the story, selama nie saya diam jer, pekakkan telinga,butakan mata dgn isu-isu tersebut..pandangan my boss disebabkan cerita-cerita yg disebarkan oleh that person and the kuncu....kata ngabis duit je antor saya jauh-jauh tp yg dapat primary metabolites..langsung xpenting...
memang sedih tp saya tau semua org akan tutup mulut if saya boleh publish kat journal yg hebat kan..so buat keje senyap-senyap...tak payah kipas ke aircond ke your boss...just work closely dgn org sheffield by email..only them know better..actually org sheffield when they were here, dorang pun puji my work..but tau jelah dorg kt tempat nie..dorg kata mesti la puji sbb aku memang attached dgn sheffield..mesti supervisor puji la kan..

today, the expert on metabolomics, the one has published 7 books on metabolomics, more than 100 publications, most importantly i've never met him before kan so takde la bias issue kan... he said something nice to hear..the words that i really nak dgr sangat from the expert ni..supaya yg tak expert but buat-buat expert nie paham yg selama nie apa yg dorg interprete tu semuanya adalah SALAH...primary metabolites sgt-sgt penting..upregulated takde cmne nak ada downregulated...
paham!!!kalu tak paham jugak memang la dorg nie..aku lesing kang....sorry lepas geram..puas hati ku...berbunga-bunga betul hari ni...actually dorang dah paham kot..reasonnya seperti berikut;
1. suh buat proposal to apply grant
2. yg that person nie tiba-tiba kata " saya nak semua list compound yg u ada tu utk map kat my student pnya bioinformatic map...amboi...secukup rasa je dia mintak kan..dulu kata tak mau la sebab i nak secondary jek..
pastu, my boss kata ok i want to see the draft of the proposal within these 3 days, sebab nak make full used of this expert. Grant rm 2.5 million pun u dah dapat yg ni mesti bole dapat lebih lagi..amboi...tiba-tiba lak nak suh buat proposal..selama nie dok kata macam2 kan...so, thanks a lot for another stress for me..proposal within 3 days....ermmm...

rasa nya aku nie dah jadi teramat tegar kan...apa yg datang aku relax je..buat keje aku sbb aku lebih tau dari dorang..pekakkan telinga butakan mata..rasanya jadi iron lady...thanks to my former working place...kalu tak kerana that experiences, aku takkan jadi segagah nie....positive thinking, the best word to describe...